Feeling Pretty...

As I was sitting on the floor, knee deep in post Packer game laundry piles, inspiration struck! Sadly inspiration and I have not been on the best of terms these past few weeks, hence the lack of writing progress.  Ideas would flutter by, on occasion, but none of them would actually motivate me enough to start striking some keys.

Today’s inspiration came from an unlikely source; a make-up commercial.  The beginning of the commercial said something along the lines of ‘sure you’re pretty but its what you do that makes you beautiful.’ I think the girl was a volunteer firefighter with effortless make-up but that is beside the point.  Coincidentally, earlier in the week I had been mulling over this very idea.

While preparing to go out with some friends, I took a second to anticipate the night ahead.  Any given Saturday night out on the town is the same.  You start by perfecting your hair, make-up, outfit and shoes.  If you are a female, you spend hours trying to perfect your look and deep down hope that you look better than any girl there.  (Don’t hate me for saying that, you know its true).  If you are a guy, my guess is that you try to do the same...albeit in a little less time. 

Next you strut down the street toward your local watering hole.  You do a light hair patdown with your fingers, make sure that your outfit has survived the journey and nothing has shifted inappropriately, check for make-up smudges and end with some lip gloss.  All clear, you are good to go!  Let the mindless chatter with the opposite sex begin!

Sometimes, when I need a break from all this bantering (because lets face it, there are only so many times a girl can say, "Oh wow, thats awesome!" before she starts contemplating smashing her vodka tonic on the ground with the hopes that she can slit her wrists with a shard of glass in an attempt to get as far away from said dude as possible without seeming rude), I start observing.

A few years ago I read a study about attractiveness.  Scientists used a facial spacing formula that determines beauty in art and apply it to human beings.  After all the measurements and calculations are done, people are ranked on an attractiveness scale of 1 to 10, with ten being the highest ranking and unattainable to date.  As I recall Angelina Jolie was extremely high ranking and had a very symmetrical face, aside from her lips which dragged her down to around a 9.  How sad for her...

Using a focus group, as well as general observations, the study claimed people typically stayed within one to two deviations of their attractiveness numbers when choosing a mate.  So if you are a 5 then most likely you will end up with someone in the 4-6 range.

During my Saturday night observations, I have found this to be true.  Upon sharing my findings with female friends, I often get this question, "Why do I attract creepy guys who are way below my level and the guys that I think are cute dont even talk to me?"  Honestly, I have no idea why that happens and I was always a little curious myself.

So on one Saturday night adventure, my friend asked a random stranger his take on this issue…to my surprised he was very insightful.  The man's theory was this; when there is a very pretty and confident girl, good looking guys get intimidated and figure they dont have a shot so they move on.  However, your uglier guys will go for it because they have nothing to lose.  Why not start with the best looking one! 

Everyone knows that the bar scene is superficial.  It is all a bunch of smoke and mirrors and I think sometimes we forget that.  You are judged instantaneously and harshly.  When I'm having an insecure moment, this is what I like to keep in mind...most of the extremely pretty, perfectly put together people that I've met are seriously screwed up! 

I remember meeting a man once and thinking to myself, “You are quite possibly the best looking person I’ve ever met and yet I have no interest in talking to you because people this pretty have issues.”  In the course of about an hour he had managed to drink himself into oblivion and make out with a sloppy, sloppy girl of about 19 years old who I’m pretty sure threw up only a few short moments prior to their makeout session.  Eww.

Some people are pretty in a club where it’s dark and you can only really hear half of the conversation.  Heck, they are even pretty in daylight.  But usually, after spending five mintues with these people, you realise that their beauty is ONLY skin deep and suddenly they're not so appealing anymore.  Pretty isn’t everything, it’s all in what you do with it. 

Someone told me a few weeks back, “One of the best things about you is that you have no idea how beautiful you are.”  That was lovely and I thanked them.  But, the whole notion that there is somehow an expectation on your personality or actions based on how pretty you are is still very confusing to me.  But maybe if people paid less attention to how pretty they are on the outside and more to how beautiful they are on the inside, their world would be a little bit better.

As always, let me know what you think.

Till Next Time

~E 

Imaginary Friends...

How many of you had imaginary friends when you were younger?  I never had an imaginary friend and I’m still upset about it!  Perhaps it was my short attention span or lack of dedication but a potential imaginary friend never made it more than two minutes before they were forgotten.  When my parents got tired of listening to Chatty Kathy over here, I just talked to myself.  Me, myself and I had amazing conversations and everyone was quite opinionated. 

After researching how the Imaginary Friend thing works, its seems the basic concept is that a child creates an imaginary friend in order to fill a void.  The imaginary friend acts as a confident and allows the child to work through whatever issues they face.  When the child grows and learns to master its issues then the Imaginary Friend disappears,  theoretically because the child doesn’t need them anymore.

During a visit with old friends, we dug into the concept of friendship.  Having been friends for the better part of a decade (scary how time flies) we have seen each other through good times and bad and I have no doubt that we will be there for each other for the decades to come.  With some friends,  you know you are just in it for the long haul.  Sure you go through ups and downs but there is always that unspoken connection that keeps you together.

Sadly, or not, depending on how you look at it, there are friendships are meant to last.  Sometimes when people grow, they grow apart instead of together.  Think about how many friends you have had throughout the years and how many of those people you still keep in contact with.  I’d venture to guess that the percentage is pretty small; and that’s okay.  In fact, that’s normal.

But the concept of Imaginary Friends got me thinking, what if we, as adults, have real-life imaginary friends?  Interpret that however you will but I offer up my interpretation anyway.  Whether you are 17 or 71, you constantly try to figure out who you are.  Identities get lost and redefined.  Wants change, needs change and situations change.  This is the time in life when you find out what you are made of.  Along your journey there are people who were put there to help you and you to help them. 

It is my honest opinion that we are meant to learn something from every relationship in life.  Some people are put in your life for a short time and some for longer.  Like the Imaginary Friend, often when you have learned what you needed to and taken from the relationship all that there was to take, the friendship disappears.  When the relationship no longer works for who you have become, then it is best to part ways.

It is important to remember that not everyone can be a life- long friend.  Endings are often sad and at times frustrating but look at it this way, you are simply opening yourself up for something better to come along. 

Till next time

~E

PS  Football is BACK!!