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Sunday, October 30, 2011

Futurama...

“The future is much like the present, only longer”-Dan Quisenberry.
Not one person on this planet can say that they don't struggle with the future.  Day in and day out we worry and wonder what’s in store for us and how events will unfold.  We constantly attempt to see seconds, minutes, hours and even years into our own futures.  We convince ourselves that the only comfort in life is to know what lies ahead.
However, what we sometimes fail to recognize is that the future is just the present with some slight modifications.
There was a time in my life when all I thought about was getting the heck out of where I was.   I convinced myself that there was nothing fantastic about the now and that the future was going to be so much more spectacular.  I waited and waited for the time to come when I could, metaphorically speaking, say ‘hasta la vista’ and ride off into the sunset towards new horizons
Man those horizons were spectacular!  The future was all I wanted it to be…for about three short weeks.  Then it hit me, I was still in the present!  'How on God's green earth did I end up here?'  Like many young people, I was under some naive assumption that changing where you lived automatically changed everything you didn’t like about yourself and your life. 
Sometimes, to get through places or situations that we don’t want to be in, instead of living in the present we set up a make believe world in our heads that someday we hope to get to.  This world is always very dewy and mystical, some might even say enchanting.  The sun is always shining and we are always happy.  In my imaginary future, I am standing on the porch of my gorgeous house on a lake, watching my husband and kids play.  That scene was what I always wanted to get to.  Where I would be happy.
Maybe you have a scene like mine or perhaps you have created a story about a new job changing your life, or a new house or a new car.   You think that just maybe all of this will make life perfect.  If only we could get there sooner!
As an eternal optimist and self-proclaimed dreamer, I would never give up on my story, nor would I encourage any of you to give up on yours.   But I had to realize that just because I wasn’t living my dream didn’t mean that I couldn’t be happy where I was, in the present.
As we’re spending all this time creating our future, life is happening.  We are doing the same mundane, everyday things, like going to work, the gym and the grocery store.  Those same mundane everyday things happen in the present, in the future, halfway around the world and right on your front porch.  Every day isn’t sunny, everyone isn’t always happy and you will always view life through the very same eyes that you view them now.  You’re future inevitably becomes the present.  The more you learn to love each day for its certain je ne sais quoi, the brighter and happier your future is sure to be.
The other day I found the following quote by Steve Rivkin, “The more unpredictable the world becomes, the more we rely on predictions.”  When I read that, a montage of all the times I turned to horoscopes and the occasional psychic flashed before me.  I was looking for something that could assure me my future would be alright.  But the comfort only lasted so long.  It was just a temporary band aid.
Real peace of mind came when I decided to stop worrying about my future.  It took a while, and a lot of practice to get out of my own way but I learned to enjoy more of the little things life had to offer.  If you list all of the things in your life that you love in life and are thankful for, I’d imagine things will get a lot better fast.
My new goal in life became being able to honestly say yes whenever anyone asked, “Are you happy?”  I achieved my goal.  I have found that this is a rare and special thing.  It was SO worth the effort!
Until next time…

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Wild Horses...

Have you ever tried to ride a wild horse?  Once I watched as Bear Grilles, from Man v Wild, tried to tame a wild horse.  His plan was lasso the horse with a piece of twine, mount him and ride off into civilization.  However, the horse had other plans.  After wiping the dirt and horse dung off his clothes, Bear had no choice but to continue on foot; eventually finding civilization.
I am reminded of this situation whenever I try to plan my future.  More often than not I usually end up knee deep in a pile of shit realizing that I didn’t know everything after all.  You would think after a while I would learn but the pattern seems to be cyclical. 
This morning I turned on the television and Joel Osteen face was there.  Not being much into televised religion, I began to look for the remote to no avail.  So, I thought, “Why not see what she has to say?”  Did you know that sometimes God uses a period and other times he uses a question mark?  I was intrigued so I continued listening. 
The gist went like this; sometimes no matter how much we want something or pray about it, god has put a period.  Whether we understand it or not, life follows a certain path.  When someone close to you is sick and you pray with all your might but in the end they pass on, they were meant to go…period.  If you were planning a major life change but your life went another direction, it was mean to…period.
A problem often arises, though, in where God has put a period, we want a question mark.  I think it’s a pretty human thing to want life to go your way.  When you aren’t holding the map, it is only natural to be confused by any wrench in the path. 
Joel Osteen says that we have to stop the questions and accept the period.  There is a plan out there for every one of us and every period is a part of the plan.  There are good things coming to you but you have to accept that you cannot change the past.  I have learned from experience that this is true. 
I was once a past dweller.  I would base who I was and how I felt about myself on decisions or events from my past.  People base self-worth on a lot of things; health, beauty, money, career, friendships, romantic relationships, etc.  The problem is that people consider themselves a failure if things don’t go as planned in these areas.  Marriages fall apart.  Friendships end. Business’s fails.  Money is fleeting.
When you are stuck in the past then you can’t move forward.  Sometimes in our lives we have question marks, not periods.  Those are times when we have to step up and take advantage of the opportunities that are presented to us and move forward.  If you are dwelling on the past, it is next to impossible to move forward. 
One of the most liberating feelings in life is to realize that you are no longer a past dweller.  The past drags you down and the sad part is that you don’t even know it until you get to the other side.  You gain a whole new level of confidence in yourself and most of those insecurities you were afraid of no longer seem so scary.  If you accept yourself, and are happy with yourself how you are today, it improves every aspect of your life and makes you able to make those steps forward. 
Part of the reason that we try to create our future is that we are scared or unsatisfied with the status quo.  It’s usually midway through our plans that God (or whomever you believe in) likes to re-route the prospective path.  Although I doubt that I will never try to plan out my future again, I know that the universe always has something bigger and better planned and it’s waiting just around the corner.  Faith is something I need to work on. 
~E
P.S. Also remember, God has a sense of humor when you try to think you are smarter than he is…trust me!
Check out my new blog http://churchtryouts.blogspot.com/.  Don’t worry, I’m not getting all “churchie” on you.  I just figured I needed a little extra help with in the faith department so every Sunday I will be trying a new church and writing about my findings.  Tune in!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Change of Season...

I’m going to be blunt…changing seasons is complete crap.  This just seems like a rough time of year for everyone, not to mention the weather goes completely bi-polar and simply cannot decide what it wants to be.  Hot? Sure.  Cold? Yes.  Humid? For a bit. Hurricane? Okey Dokey! 
What the Heck!?!  Just pick something.  Two weeks ago, during a rather long cold spell, I decided it was time to take my fall clothes out of storage and pack my summer clothes away.  Well the joke is on me because it took me the better part of an hour to find a tank top and shorts this morning because someone decided it should be 80 degrees today!
Aside from the weather there are also new and exciting allergies!  This has resulted in about half of the people I know getting sinus infections.  The other half of the people wake up with massive headaches and chronic fatigue due the fact that it’s dark until about 7:30am!  On top of that, people seem to be just a little bit bored and a little bit restless.  It’s as if we're stuck in this awkward, annoying in-between stage and have no idea what to do with ourselves.  There is a lot of “hurry up and wait” going on and it is unpleasant. 
“Oh hey life, you have the potential of being super fun again in a month or so.  I can see it and it looks great.  For now I guess I’m going to paint my toes again because I can’t think of anything better to do in the meantime!”
Out of all the season changes, I find summer to fall to be the hardest.  I remember being out on a boat this summer thinking “Man I don’t want it to be September because I have no idea what I am going to do with myself.” 
During the summer you are go, go, go all the time.  There are fun activities to do, trips to take, pools to swim in and friends to see.  While you’re in the throes of summer, you are having too much fun to even think about slowing down.  Even the summer blockbusters are more exciting!?!  (If you haven’t seen Thor, it’s now on redbox and I would rent it right away!)
But then September hits and life spits you out like an old tomato!   During the summer you couldn’t even remember the last time you stayed in for a movie night and now you’ve gone through every movie in your repertoire and still aren’t satisfied.  Maybe that’s why retailers start the holiday season earlier every year; they need something to get excited about.
I know that this restlessness shall pass and I am thankful for all the fun and exciting things I got to do this year.  It was amazing.  Things will once again be a rip roaring good time and the case of the blahs will be a distant memory.  I will work on enjoying the little things, like pumpkins and pumpkin flavored delectables that are eaten in moderation!
Perhaps when the weather gets over its identity crisis we will all feel a little bit better.  Good times will triumph once again…I just know it!

~E
PS Thanks to all the amazing Wisconsin sports teams.  I will be having a fun night of cheering loudly!