After graduating from college and realizing that I wanted nothing to do with sitting in an office, I encountered somewhat of an identity crisis. As I do with all major decisions in life, I waited for a sign. One day, I filled out a questionnaire about "Creating Your Future." The idea was to read the question out loud, close your eyes, breathe deeply, and write the first thing that came to mind. When I got around to the Career section, here's what came up, "If you write it, they will come."
That was it. Pretty vague, universe!! I kept trying to ask more questions. Who will come? When are they coming? What am I supposed to write? I got NOTHIN! All I kept hearing in my head was, "If you write it, they will come." So, the next week I started this blog. At first I was scared that I would run out of things to write after the first week but when I sit down to the computer every Sunday, it all comes together almost magically.
And the best part is people are coming! All of you are reading this and I hope you enjoy. Last week, my friend of mine told me the other day that she talks about it with her friends and that is pretty awesome so thank you for being my audience.
Today I no longer think of myself as a left brain thinker, or a right brain thinker. I guess I fall somewhere in the middle. This week my writing group assignment was to create a new disease and describe its effect on people. As much as I tried to think of a serious epidemic, I decided my disease would be Dance Fever.
Even though you may, at times, be afraid of a challenge or trying something new, when you are true to yourself amazing things can happen. All you have to do is give it a shot!
~E
The Dance Fever Epidemic Resurfaces: Fear Runs Rampant
At a rate not seen since the disco epidemic of 1970, people around the world are contracting what Scientists call Feeltherhythmitis or Dance Fever. Thought to be a dead disease, Feeltherhythmitis has once again propelled itself onto the world scene.
Dr. Boogie, Associate Professor of History at NYU, contracted Feeltherhythmitis during an outbreak in the 1960’s. His condition has been in remission ever since.
“During the Summer of ’69,” recalled Dr. Boogie, “I contracted a crippling condition known as Dance Fever (Feeltherhythmitis). The first stage of Feeltherhythmitis is borderline euphoric. The infected feel as though they can dance all night. However, during the second phase of contamination things turn serious. Victims find that they are no longer in control of their limbs and their dancing becomes erratic; jerking, tapping, swaying, kicking, jumping etc. People start sweating profusely and many claim that they couldn’t stop dancing if they tried. I have seen the negative effects of Feeltherythmitis on innocent people. The world scientific community needs to take this outbreak very seriously before any more lives are affected.”
Olivia Newton was at an LA dance club when her boyfriend John began to show signs of second degree Feeltherhythmitis. “John never dances, “claimed Ms. Newton, “So when he started taking it to the floor like a maniac I knew something was wrong. I tried to stop him but he kept high kicking and I couldn’t get near him.”
Club employees were able to subdue John T. (last name not disclosed due to a pending police investigation), and he was treated at a local hospital. Unfortunately, over $100,000 in damage was done to sound equipment, furniture and a Swarovski chandelier. The dance club is also facing a class action law suit from patrons who are claiming emotional distress and bodily injury incurred from the erratic dancing.
Due to public outcry, countries around the world are banning certain types of music until a new cure for Feeltherhythmitis can be found. In a message to the country, President Obama stated,
“We are working hard to find a cure for this disease. This is not just an American issue, this is a global issue and I urge other countries to cease and desist of all dance related music until we can put an end to Dance Fever, once and for all.”
There are many people who feel that the DanceBan, as it has been called, is unfair and unconstitutional. The activist group, AllIWannaDoIsDance, held an anti-ban rally in Daytona Beach, Florida over the weekend, drawing a crowd of over 10,000 people.
“America is about freedom of expression,” argued Francis Baby Houseman, organizer of AllIWannaDoIsDance. “Shutting down music is not the answer! You cannot ignore all the positive affects music has on society and its people. Long Live Dancing!”
We asked Dr. Boogie his thoughts on the ban.
"In the 1960’s, the Dance Fever epidemic ended with the advent of a form of music called Hard Rock. Disco went out of style in the 70’s and that helped end the epidemic. The problem with this particular disease, however, is that every time you think it’s gone, it finds a way to mutate and regenerate. Until a new cure can be developed, I urge people to remain inside, away from music and dancing of any kind. People simply don’t understand the severity of Dance Fever. It is both catastrophic and highly contagious. The rhythm is going to get you!”
As of now, governments around the world continue to strictly enforce the DanceBan. An intergovernmental group of scientists, known as The Cure, continue to work day and night toward a solution. Until then, civilians are urged to stay calm and remain at home as much as possible. Large green bins have been placed at supermarkets and schools for the disposal of any music media devices.
The President urges that “the more cooperation from the American people, the sooner this will all come to an end.”
If you know of anyone who is displaying symptoms of Feeltherhythmitis, please visit www.stopthedancing.org for treatment facilities and tips on preventing contamination.
(Disclaimer: This is a fake article. Nothing actually exists.)
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