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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Funk...please enjoy!

The word funk is so fun to say and describes such a large plethora of things.   Funk is a snazzy genre of music.  Funkytown is a place.  It sounds like an exceedingly good time but no one will tell me where it is!  Funk is also used to describe an unpleasant smell.  For instance, “Wow, I’m seriously funky after that workout,” or “Dude, cleaned in a while?  Your place smells funkaaayyyy!”   My least favorite use of the word funk, however, is when it describes being in one! 
Being in a funk basically means you’re in a slightly depressed, mopey mood for some reason or another.  For the ladies, our little monthly guest has been known to bring a funk with her; how considerate!  It’s not like we have things to do, places to go, people to see, and sunshine to bring!  Ok ok…I know we can’t always blame Aunt Flo but she sure doesn’t help.
So how do you get out of a funk?  There are several ways to get out of the funkyness.  First, try something different.  Write, read, get a main/ pedi or go bungee jumping (that one is very helpful!)  If a change of scenery doesn’t do the trick then maybe you just need a day or two of watching Mark Wahlberg movies in your pajamas.  Go ahead, no one’s judging!  As long as you shower once in a while so the funkiness doesn’t begin to rub off, there shouldn't be an issue. 
The most important thing remember while in a funk is to keep control of your imagination.  When you’ve got the funky blues your overactive, irrational female imagination can take hold.  Watching old episodes of the Ghost Whisper and thinking, “What if I died on my wedding day in a car accident and start haunting my husband’s new girlfriend like her?  I probably would.  He’s my husband even if I’m dead…I don’t want to die.  What if I never get married?  Ugh I need some chocolate…”  is not helpful  when attempting to de-funk.
As you can see, an overactive imagination while in a funk can lead to internal crisis, relationship/friendship issues and general craziness.  Keep some perspective and listen to the inner voice that is trying to calm you! 
…And it is most important to remember that funks don’t last.  Eventually the proverbial smell goes away and the sun shines once again.
xoxo
~ E- A normal, slightly neurotic female getting out of a funk!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Out with the Old and In with the New...



Throughout our lives we are forced to say our goodbyes.  Some are fond farewells and see you laters, while others are bittersweet adieus.  You say goodbye to family, friends, loves, relationships, pets, cars, houses, money, possessions etc.  Goodbyes are as big a part of life as living. 
This week I had to say goodbye to my dear friend Bob, the 2003 Dell Inspiron Lap Top that has been by my side for eight years.  I can still recall the excitement and anticipation as I tore through the packaging and cast my eyes on his shiny, silver casing for the very first time.  He was magnificent!
During the early stages of our relationship we worked well together.  We faced very few issues and I showed him off every chance that I got!  Our first major fight was a few months into our relationship when Bob got very sick and subsequently deleted his entire hard drive.  (For anyone going through a similar situation please seek a second opinion before listening to ‘Joel’ from Dell Technical Support located somewhere around New Delhi.)
Throughout our college life together, we certainly had our ups and downs.  There were times when I wanted to throw Bob out a ten story window in frustration.  My only reservation was, of course, that he contained every picture, story, paper and song that I had taken, written, or downloaded over the past eight years. 
As he aged, Bob grew increasingly slow and our relationship became tense.  Love and admiration were replaced by frustration and bitterness.  Often when you get to the end of a relationship, you want to deny that you are there.  The rose colored glasses come on and you hold fast to the good times and ignore the bad.  After all, the thing that you trust and share your most intimate feeling with is still right in front of you.  Naturally you attempt to wait it out , hoping that one day things will go back to how they used to be.  But soon you realize that it is time to say goodbye.
The relationship between Bob and I had run its course and it wasn’t fair to either of us to keep things going.  Almost everything I ever wrote, papers, articles stories or this blog, has been written on Bob.  Even in the end I could always count on him to be there. He was old, worn down and could’ve crashed on me at any second, but I considered him a close friend.   He will be sorely missed.
In life, goodbyes are inevitable and change in constant.  When I took Esmeralda, my new 2011 maroon Asus, out of her packaging, it was bittersweet.  Sure she was shinier, faster and seemingly more dependable, but I knew nothing about her.  What’s her keyboard like and could I type just as fast on it? Would I be able to write as well with her? Will she be as trustworthy and dependable as Bob?
Goodbyes are very rarely easy and change is almost always scary but Esmeralda and I are off to a good start! I think it’s the beginning of a beautiful friendship…
~E
How do I say goodbye to what we had? * The good times that made us laugh* Outweigh the bad.
I thought we’d get to see forever* But forever’s gone away*It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
                                                                            ~Boyz II Men

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Traditions...

Tradition.  Tradition.

This week, the week of St. Patrick’s Day, I have thought a lot about tradition.  Traditions are things that usually go unnoticed because it is what you have always done.  It never occurred to me, for example, that most people don’t eat Raw Beef and Onions during the holidays (its a Wisconsin thing).  Raw Beef and Onions are a holiday delicacy made by my father, his mother before him, and her mother before her.  It’s a Christmas tradition!  No need to question it…    

Being from a family who takes pride in their Irish heritage, there are several St Patty’s Day traditions that I have grown accustomed to.  Corned beef and cabbage, Rueben’s, and pint of Guinness are some favorites but my most beloved St. Patty’s tradition is Irish Soda Bread made by my Grandmother. 

While lounging around my apartment this St. Patrick’s Day I couldn’t help thinking that something was missing.  For the first time since leaving the nest I felt completely disconnected from my family, my home and my traditions.  After sulking for the better part of an hour I decided to get up, throw on a pair of shoes and go shopping…for ingredients.  If my Grandma couldn’t bring the tradition to me then gosh darn I was going to do it myself. 

As I carefully measured the sugar, flour, baking soda etc, I began to feel as though I had an audience.  A few months ago, in an ever so creative mood, I decided to construct a picture wall.  On this wall I hung pictures of all the important people in my life.  Right smack in the middle of the wall hangs a large 8x10 frame of my Grandma and Grandpa Callen.  My Grandparents loved St Patty's Day and as I continued to stir that bread batter, I could almost  feel them cheering me on.   

To anyone else a loaf of Irish Soda Bread might just be an annual treat.  For me it represents something much more.  Not only is it a reminder of love and happiness from the past but it has now become my tradition.  It is the first tradition I took from my grandmother and made my own.  Whether it be a recipe, a habit, or a behavior (good or bad), you are constantly taking and learning from your family.  As time passes, inevitably, it becomes your job to pay it forward for the next generation.  

Have you heard the saying, “Men grow up to be their fathers and women grow up to be their mothers?”  Hanging next to the picture of my grandparents, there is a picture of my great-great grandfather and his family.  This picture was taken over a hundred years ago when they first arrived in the US.  Interestingly enough, as I began to look closer the family resemblance became more apparent.  To me, one of the neatest things in the world is seeing bits and pieces of your ancestors within your self.

Little pieces of each person on my picture wall have helped create who I am.  As unique as everyone likes to think they are, in reality they are just a mosaic of their past, their traditions and their family.  

So if you want to know more about who you are, I would suggest taking a look back.  You'll be surprised to find that you have more in common than you might think.  

~E

...and my Irish Soda Bread came out perfect! Just like Grandma's.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Puzzle Pieces...

How long has it been since you attempted to put together a puzzle?  Being a rather impatient child, puzzles were never my forte.  By the time I got the edge assembled my interest was lost.  The task of completing the puzzle seemed more like a punishment than an afternoon activity.  How could anyone expect my seven year old self to enjoy sorting through a thousand tiny cardboard pieces for hours on end? 

This week I've been thinking a lot about puzzles.  Not in a literal sense but in a metaphorical one.  Imagine, if you will, that your life is a thousand-piece puzzle and that all the tiny pieces represent different aspects of it i.e. family, friends, passions, interests etc. 

The first thing that draws you to a puzzle is the picture on the box.  When completed, that is what your puzzle/life looks like.  The only problem is that in life you don’t have the box.  Someone or something is holding it hostage…so where do you start? 

As any puzzle aficionado knows, you start with the outer pieces and work your way in.  Since the edge pieces are more distinct, they are easier to put together.  For the purposes of this metaphor, the edge pieces represent your foundation.  The edge is strong and steers you in the right direction.  You can always build off the edge pieces.

Once the edge is completed the puzzle gets more challenging.  Colors start melding together, pieces are lost and your ability gets questioned.  There are times when you think you’ve got it all figured out but there is one major problem, the pieces don't fit together.  Now you are getting increasingly frustrated.  The pieces seem like they should fit perfectly…you want them to fit perfectly.  You even go so far as to pound your fist into the table in an effort to force the pieces together.

After the adrenaline wears off, you realize that as much as you want the pieces to go, as much as you think they should, it just isn’t the right fit.  You are demoralized and confused.  You have no idea what this darn thing is supposed to look like and the piece you are looking for is nowhere to be found.  You have rummaged through the remaining 625 tiny cardboard pieces about a thousand times but you simply cannot find what you're looking for!!

It is time for a break.  Take a deep breath and close your eyes.

The funny thing about puzzles is that they always come together exactly how they’re supposed to.  Slowly, pieces begin to fit together and there is progress.  As tempting as it is to give up, DON'T…the puzzle needs finishing!  You may not know exactly what the picture looks like but the end result is a full and happy life. 

Now that I’m a little older and my attention span is much improved, perhaps it's time to finish the puzzle.

~E

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Vive the Laissez Faire life...

Over the past year I have adopted a much more laissez faire attitude towards life.  Laissez Faire is a traditionally economic term advocating a lack of governmental regulation.  Through the years, however, laissez faire has been broadened to include personal relationships.  In today's society, it refers to “a refusal to interfere in other people’s affairs, or the practice of letting people do as they wish.”  Quite a concept isn’t it? Letting people do as they wish.  It sounds pretty easy in theory but when applied to life it is much more complicated. 

When you see people sad, hurting, confused, or heading down a dangerous path, it is only natural to want to interfere or help.  Inevitably, though, despite your good intentions you become wrapped up in someone else’s problem.  Your stress level skyrockets on a daily basis, your skin breaks out, your hair falls out, you lose weight, you gain weight, and in the end the your overall happiness and sense of self suffers.  What a terrible trade off!!  No friend worth their beans would wish that on you!

Being the chronic over thinker that I am, I spent most of my life trying to fix or solve (well) anybody’s problem.  A few months ago I finally came to the realization that most of my time was spent worrying about people and events beyond my control.

Although I love my job, it requires a lot of me emotionally.  I found myself constantly worrying and analyzing other people’s issues even after the work day was through. When I would talk to friends and family I often took on their stressors and issues as well.  This is completely normal but when other people’s problems begin to take a toll on your health, it is time to change.

At first, when you adopt this laissez faire attitude, people might think you are selfish, uncaring and cold (horribly unpleasant words).  But in reality, you have just made yourself the priority in your life!

Now when I clock out for the day, I’m done!  I think about nothing other than what I am making myself for dinner.  When I talk to friends and family in need, I listen and give the best support and encouragement I can but I no longer take on negative energy.  The laissez faire attitude is easier said than done but it simply takes practice.

When you stop sweating the small stuff life becomes so much better.  As you let go of stress and negativity,  life becomes fun and relaxing.  Almost immediately I started making more money at work, began losing weight faster, and finally felt a sense of control over my life. 

Just so you don’t think my life is a total walk in the park, right before I sat down to write today’s blog my trusty writing companion (aka my computer, Bob) decided to throw a major league hissy fit.  Before, I would have needed a martini and a weepy phone call to my parents to get me through.  But today all I needed was a few deep breaths and a short rant via text and I was all better…and guess what?  Bob got better too. 

So whether it is the small stuff, like increasingly frustrating technology, or the big stuff, like family, friends and life in general, just remember that everything will work out exactly as it’s supposed to.  If you stop trying to make your life how you think it should be, you begin to love it for what it is.  You’ll get the job you’re supposed to get, meet the guy/girl you’re supposed to meet, you’ll have the happy life you’re supposed to have…just relax!  Have a little faith!

It all starts when you stop sweatin the small stuff!


~E