Over the past year I have adopted a much more laissez faire attitude towards life. Laissez Faire is a traditionally economic term advocating a lack of governmental regulation. Through the years, however, laissez faire has been broadened to include personal relationships. In today's society, it refers to “a refusal to interfere in other people’s affairs, or the practice of letting people do as they wish.” Quite a concept isn’t it? Letting people do as they wish. It sounds pretty easy in theory but when applied to life it is much more complicated.
When you see people sad, hurting, confused, or heading down a dangerous path, it is only natural to want to interfere or help. Inevitably, though, despite your good intentions you become wrapped up in someone else’s problem. Your stress level skyrockets on a daily basis, your skin breaks out, your hair falls out, you lose weight, you gain weight, and in the end the your overall happiness and sense of self suffers. What a terrible trade off!! No friend worth their beans would wish that on you!
Being the chronic over thinker that I am, I spent most of my life trying to fix or solve (well) anybody’s problem. A few months ago I finally came to the realization that most of my time was spent worrying about people and events beyond my control.
Although I love my job, it requires a lot of me emotionally. I found myself constantly worrying and analyzing other people’s issues even after the work day was through. When I would talk to friends and family I often took on their stressors and issues as well. This is completely normal but when other people’s problems begin to take a toll on your health, it is time to change.
At first, when you adopt this laissez faire attitude, people might think you are selfish, uncaring and cold (horribly unpleasant words). But in reality, you have just made yourself the priority in your life!
Now when I clock out for the day, I’m done! I think about nothing other than what I am making myself for dinner. When I talk to friends and family in need, I listen and give the best support and encouragement I can but I no longer take on negative energy. The laissez faire attitude is easier said than done but it simply takes practice.
When you stop sweating the small stuff life becomes so much better. As you let go of stress and negativity, life becomes fun and relaxing. Almost immediately I started making more money at work, began losing weight faster, and finally felt a sense of control over my life.
Just so you don’t think my life is a total walk in the park, right before I sat down to write today’s blog my trusty writing companion (aka my computer, Bob) decided to throw a major league hissy fit. Before, I would have needed a martini and a weepy phone call to my parents to get me through. But today all I needed was a few deep breaths and a short rant via text and I was all better…and guess what? Bob got better too.
So whether it is the small stuff, like increasingly frustrating technology, or the big stuff, like family, friends and life in general, just remember that everything will work out exactly as it’s supposed to. If you stop trying to make your life how you think it should be, you begin to love it for what it is. You’ll get the job you’re supposed to get, meet the guy/girl you’re supposed to meet, you’ll have the happy life you’re supposed to have…just relax! Have a little faith!
It all starts when you stop sweatin the small stuff!
~E
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